You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
