just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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