So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think people are normalizing furries
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
