Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
