let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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