I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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