where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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