When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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