Don't you send me to vm
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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