So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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