return my video game
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
