I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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