We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
