i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
