Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
