right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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