had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
