Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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