it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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