I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
People in love make me want to vomit
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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