9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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