Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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