This is not my ceiling
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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