I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
