Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
