I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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