I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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