I'm so fucking centered right now
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
