If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I understand Curling. That high.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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