That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
