i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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