this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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