I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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