You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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