if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
