it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize