He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
