another moral hangover. fuck.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
