hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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