Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
