This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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