And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize