I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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