I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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