Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
