in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
