Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
