the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
