Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
