How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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