Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
