how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
