I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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