Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
