Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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