I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
