Your dad touched me again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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