I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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