You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
