TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
