Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
