He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
third nipple confirmed
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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