I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
