Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
