its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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